STEPHEN SMITH: Bowling Alone: We're Losing Our Sense of Membership

When I was 10 years old, I stood in front of 300 Masons and Eastern Star ladies -- my knees knocking with abject fear -- and recited a humorous poem: "When my pa joined the Masons/Ma was mad as sin/she wished he'd been blackballed/and never could get in."

I don't remember the rest of the poem, but I can still see the Masonic hall filled to capacity with eager faces. My father and grandfather were Masons and my grandmother and mother were members of the Eastern Star. They went to every meeting and spent hours memorizing rituals and lengthy recitations, all of which remain a mystery to me.

I'm sure I have friends who belong to secret social and civic organizations, but I couldn't tell you their names. If someone asked me what organizations I belong to, I could list only the Weymouth Center and the Sunrise Theater.

My elderly mother, who is steadfastly devoted to the past, still belongs to the DAR, the 1812 Society, and the Women's Eastern Shore Society, but last year two local chapters of the organizations to which she belonged dissolved for lack of membership.

When I look around the room at a meeting of the Weymouth or the Sunrise board, I can't help wondering: Who among those serving on this board will be here in 20 years?

Our reluctance to join organizations that support our communities is self-perpetuating. As Yogi Berra is alleged to have said: "If you don't go to somebody's funeral, they won't come to yours." So most of us make our way through contemporary life in a singular fashion devoid of those extensive social contacts that once delighted and intrigued our parents and grandparents.

I lack recent statistics to support my observations, but the 2001 edition of Robert D. Putnam's "Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community," is a wellspring of facts and figures.

Putnam's first sentence sums up nicely recent social changes in America: "No one is left from the Glenn Valley, Pennsylvania, Bridge Club who can tell us precisely when or why the group broke up, even though its 40-odd members were still playing regularly as recently as 1990, just as they had done for more than half a century."

Putnam notes that in 1960, 63 percent of Americans of voting age participated in the presidential election, whereas by 1996, the percentage had slipped to 49 percent. Most Americans claim a spiritual or religious involvement, but church attendance is down 50 percent from the mid-1950s. Attendance at public meetings dropped 40 percent between 1973 and 1994.

Why is this?

When I graduated from college, I simply refused to join any organization, no matter its purpose, and I suspect there are many of my generation who've had similar experience -- or lack thereof -- with civic life.

Work took up much of my time, and I think these days most of us find ourselves even more involved with making a living. Long hours at work make it impossible to attend anything other than a meeting that absolutely requires our attendance. Free time is spent in front of the TV or the computer.

One in five Americans moves each year, and it takes time to establish social contacts in a new community. And belonging to social and civic organizations strikes most people as passé. The Shriners, the Elks, the Odd Fellows, the Moose, the VFW, the Kiwanis, sewing circles, book clubs, etc. have suffered drops in membership, and there's no sign of this trend reversing itself.

Which is a shame. Such organizations once bound our communities together and gave us common goals and the means by with to realize those goals. As we grow increasingly isolated, we demonstrate a lack of interest in the happiness and well-being of our neighbors. Twenty years ago, families gathered around the living room TV -- but at least they were together. Today, there are a hundred channels and there's a TV in every room.

A few months back, I returned to the Masonic Temple where I'd recited my poem. The old hall was in disrepair. The oak folding chairs and the banquet tables were long gone, as were the Masonic symbols. Notices posted on a bulletin board indicated that the old hall was being used by local government.

I looked out at the empty room and wondered where all the smiling faces had gone.

Stephen Smith can be reached at travisses@hotmail.com.