Wherever the point of impact, it was enough to send the bird flipping down the fairway. After several tumbles on the short-cropped grass, the bird lay there with its wings outstretched, as the geese EMTs rushed to the scene. I don't think they performed beak-to-beak resuscitation.
"Did I hit that goose?" Duck says, as he turns toward me and the other two fellows in the foursome playing golf on a recent sunny afternoon.
The whole thing started when Duck, who grips the club cross-handed, found himself sitting in the middle of the fairway of a par-4, a good 180 yards away from the green. He grabbed some type of fairway wood, settled into his stance, and waggled a bit before unleashing a mighty swipe at the ball.
Solid contact was evident by the sound of club meeting ball. But, unfortunately, instead of the ball taking a graceful arc toward its intended target, it took off like a Randy Johnson slider.
About three feet off the ground, and sliding quickly toward the left, the ball hummed down the fairway before another sound indicating solid contact bounced back toward our group standing in the fairway.
Thwomp, is the nearest I can come to recreating the sound of that ball plunking the goose. After his fairway flips, and the administration of his EMT buddies, the bird staggered to its webbed feet. A little unsteady, and honking loudly, the goose started to take flight. Well, almost take flight. It sort of lumbered down the fairway like an overloaded cargo plane trying to get off a runway.
His feet dragging the ground, the goose listed to one side, then the other, before finally getting airborne. The bird flapped its way past us, obviously not very pleased with the way his afternoon stroll had ended.
Duck didn't look too happy, either. He kept asking if he had really hit that goose, much like a person that has been in a bad accident might keep repeating they can't believe what just happened. He truly felt bad about the unfortunate stroke of luck.
Now before all you members of PETA, and other animal rights activists, unleash your fury on Duck, or at me for relating the tale, everything came out all right in the end.
Duck called me later that evening. He had heard from a representative of the goose's insurance carrier. The goose was fine, albeit a little shaken and sore. The insurance guy just wanted to some information from Duck as he was working on an incident report.
I asked Duck who the goose had insurance with. Duck said, "AFLAC."
True story. Well, maybe not the insurance part.
Hunter Chase can be reached at hchase@thepilot.com
