What I have a problem with is the way that national news outlets — newspapers, radio, and TV — seem to have blurred the distinction between “entertainment news” and just “news.”
Just “news” is what should be on the front page, or broadcast on the network newscast at 6:30, or in that brief five-minute flash report that radio stations stick in between traffic, weather and ads for car dealerships.
More and more, the fluff seems to be creeping into those venues and gaining some sort of co-equal prominence with the real news. So for all you news execs out there, here’s a brief primer on what’s not necessarily the news:
If it’s about who’s on and who’s off some island, who’s just gotten the most extreme makeover, or who’s still in the running to marry some numb-witted reality show contestant, it’s not news.
If it’s about some failure of the voting system on “American Idol,” it’s not news, no matter how many people feel “disenfranchised” or “ cheated” because they didn’t get to vote for their favorite contestant. Any story containing the name “Simon Cowell” is presumed to be not news until proven otherwise by clear and convincing evidence.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby is cute. It’s not news.
Ben Affleck is not news. Jennifer Lopez is not news, unless she gets appointed ambassador to the U.N. or something. When’s she’s calling herself “ J. Lo.” she’s not news and never will be.
If it’s about what bodily modification or decoration Angelina Jolie has indulged in this week, it’s not news. This goes double for Pamela Anderson.
I liked Tony Randall a lot, too. He was a fine actor and reportedly a great guy. His death deserves a decent obituary. But not on the front page.
If it’s about an upcoming episode of a show that’s on the same network as the show reporting it, it’s not news. I don’t care if the episode is “ripped from the headlines.”
I also don’t care how long a show has been on, how many awards it’s won, or how “beloved” its stars are. Its last episode is not news.
If it’s about the furor over something stupid Andy Rooney said on “60 Minutes” that offended somebody, it’s not news. Andy Rooney says stupid and occasionally offensive things. It’s his job. How else do you explain his longevity?
This one is particularly directed toward CNN’s Anderson Cooper: Every rape trial is not national news just because it involves some titillating allegations like the alleged victim having a checkered sexual history or the alleged perps using date-rape drugs. And to the rest of the news media: A common fistfight or other small-time crime is not made more newsworthy by the fact it was caught on videotape.
Michael Jackson being charged with a crime is news, but just barely. The verdict will be news. Everything in between is not news.
No one’s, repeat no one’s, weight loss is news, no matter how dramatic. Neither is weight gain.
Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” was news for about five minutes. It isn’t anymore. It’s also not news that some B-list talk show is using a tape delay when she’s on. I mean come on, people, do you really think she’s just going to start uncontrollably ripping her clothes like the She-Hulk every time she’s on TV?
The anchor’s opinions about the story he’s just reported are not news. If they’re commentary, they should be labeled as such, even if it’s just the usual idiotic one-word or one-sentence interjection: “A sad, sad story,” “Shocking,” Etc.
For that matter, the anchor, his or her negotiations with the network, his or her salary, and/or how well he or she gets along with co-workers and the production staff is not news.
The latest low-carb, low-fat, or low-whatever diet craze is not news.
It’s not like there aren’t plenty of outlets for fluff. Heck, we have TV networks like E! and magazines like People and Entertainment Weekly that devote themselves to fluff. Let them do their job and save the front pages for the real news.
Dusty Rhoades lives in Carthage and practices law in Aberdeen. Lately, he’s started getting all his news from “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central.
