During the first Gulf War, my husband and I were living in Wilmington. Troops poured through the port city in the fall of 1990, driving in long convoys down to Sunny Point Military Terminal, just across the Cape Fear River. My co-workers and I waved to soldiers from the parking lot of our office building.People honked horns and flew flags out of car windows.

I saw a man stop, salute and stand at attention for several long minutes one day in the middle of a crowded Chi Chi’s parking lot as a line of camouflage-colored vehicles lumbered past. The commercial strip of College Drive during the lunch hour rush is not a spot that typically brings about a sentimental rush of patriotism. But of course it wasn’t the cluster of banks and copy shops and bumper-to-bumper traffic that brought a lump to my throat. It was the stark reality of those troops, in surreal contrast to the surf shops and Shoney’s they drove past. These young men were going to war, not the beach.

I am far from certain that the current Bush administration is correct in its foreign policy with respect to Iraq. I believe that George W. Bush is making many grievous mistakes in policy, both domestic and foreign, across the board. I frequently cringe at the words that come out of his mouth. My reactions to Attorney General John Ashcroft could only be described as apoplectic.

But I will tell you this. I would stand and wave and cheer for the convoys of troops driving past in 2003 as well –– and I am willing to bet that most of those protesting this current war with Iraq will tell you the same thing: We may not support the war or the manner in which the war is being brought about, but we do support our troops. These men and women took an oath to serve their country and they will serve it proudly and well as the commands come down. But please understand. Disagreeing with the president and his policies should never be interpreted as a lack of appreciation for the military under his command.

I think it’s very important to make this distinction clear here in Moore County, where so many military families live and work and worry about their loved ones overseas. In the United States, you can love your country at the same time that you disagree with your elected officials. It may be confusing to those who have never felt the conflict in their hearts, but it is possible to support the troops while not supporting the war.

I know there are some who will say you can’t have it both ways. You can’t support the troops without supporting the war. These are people who cannot keep two conflicting thoughts in their heads simultaneously. They have a one-track view of everything.

Because it is possible to be very conflicted about taking troops into Iraq and yet wish those troops the safest possible success once there. Of course, I also I think our troops should be better paid. I think they should have the best possible equipment. I think that if certain pieces of equipment, such as the Osprey, keep crashing to earth, then our government should immediately move to rectify the situation, not hide the facts.

I think veterans should receive better benefits. And if large numbers of them come home from a war with similar, mysterious medical complaints, I want our government to listen to them and treat them, not insinuate that they are malingerers and deny them compensation.

I support our troops going into this war because they are doing what their country, through our elected government, is asking them to do. I am also deeply impressed with the sacrifices of our Reserve and National Guard Units, whose deployment means hardship and difficulty for families and employers left behind. All of these men and women deserve our utmost respect.

One of the most troubling things about the Bush administration has been its tendency to refer to their detractors not as the loyal opposition but as traitors. The penchant on the part of this administration to divide Americans –– you’re either with us or again’ us in their universe –– could become even more unpleasant, if not scarily oppressive, during an unpopular war.

Adlai Stevenson said, “Patriotism is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime.”

Patriotism is not about renaming fried potatoes, or being careful of what you say. It’s not even about waving a flag, although that’s a nice thing to do. Patriotism is found in how you live your civic life. Knowing what your elected officials are doing –– caring what your elected officials are doing. It’s patriotic to support our troops. It’s also patriotic to question where, when and why their valiant sacrifice is called upon. We owe them that, along with our prayers and our gratitude.

Lynn Rhoades lives in Carthage. Contact her at lrhoades@nc.rr.com.