If you possess a “Y” chromosome, put down the paper and go change some oil. There is not a chance in the world that you will enjoy “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.”
Now that the men are out of the room, we girls can dish. Those Ya-Yas are a boozy, dramatic bunch and quite a bit of fun.
A stand-out ensemble cast fills out “The Divine Secrets,” beginning with Ellen Burstyn as the present-day Viviane Walker, a Louisiana magnolia whose steel has been rusted somewhat by a large consumption of vodka. Vivi’s daughter, Siddalee (Sandra Bullock), has written a Broadway play and in the process of promoting it, gave a tad too truthful interview to Time magazine. The rag. Siddalee says, among other things, that were it not for her complicated childhood, she would have nothing to write about.
Reading the article at home, Vivi flies into a hysterical rage that plays itself out in phone calls to Sidda and a battle of FedEx packages. Vivi’s Ya-Ya sisters are called into action to save the day. Teensy (Fionnula Flanagan), Necie (Shirley Knight) and oxygen tank-toting Caro (Maggie Smith) pile into Teensy’s buttercup yellow Rolls Royce convertible and head off to undo the damage. Caro, for one, hopes it is a quick fix: “I hope it’s not a real emergency. I only brought one bottle of vodka.”
As desperate times call for desperate measures, the Ya-Yas converge on the Big Apple, kidnap Sidda and haul her back to the Bayou, where they plan to educate her about Vivi. This involves going through the Ya-Ya scrapbook and reminiscing about various tears and triumphs. Along the way, Sidda indulges in her own recollections of a mother both feared and revered.
In flashbacks, the younger Vivi is portrayed by Ashley Judd, who is alternately captivating and exhausted. The picture that emerges seems like it’s straight from a gothic novel, which it is. As any fan of the Ya-Yas knows, the film was based on Rebecca Wells’ two novels, “Little Altars Everywhere” and “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.”
The cast performs admirably. Both Judd and Burstyn make Vivi a character we will long remember. Englishwoman Maggie Smith and Ireland’s own Fionnula Flanagan deliver commendable Southern accents and some of the film’s funniest lines. Bullock is left to play the straight man to a pack of divas and does so respectfully.
It is easy to find fault with the movie. It is over the top in its melodrama, manipulative in its attempts to wring out every tear in your head, and careens toward a predictably happy ending. But so what. That is exactly why “The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” is delightful to watch and why most men just won’t get it.
You want to know a secret about the sisterhood? Sometimes, a girl just needs a good cry, a good laugh, and a good time spent wallowing in both.
