Though folks my age rarely tell their ages to anyone, let alone their other secrets like recipes and Viagara consumption, the question arose as to what kind of party should be held for those in the village who may be long-time members of the American Association of Retired People.
The decision, in most cases, is to do nothing and let the day that marks another notch in the ol’ pine tree go by as quickly as possible. Once the birthdays add up to a number that even 30 fingers and 30 toes would not be enough to calculate, it is best to let the special day just slide right by.
The village residents with young children, however, can’t do that. Youngsters, from the time they are 3 till they are at least teens, expect Mom and Dad to hold a party and lavish gifts on that special day of theirs.
A problem arises for those parents who have children under 10. Specifically, the question comes up as to how many kids to invite to the party and just what kind of an event it should be.
In my day, things were simple. When my son had his 10th birthday, we just invited about a dozen of his male friends — he didn’t want any girls there — for games, cake and ice cream. I remember the event well.
We were living in Rabat, Morocco, and the youngsters, all Americans who went to the State Department school in the city, were wiry, active kids who came ready to party. I had planned to have some tame games like pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey scheduled for the event, but that didn’t work out.
The boys wanted something with more action, and one found a dart game we had stored in the garage. He set it up, and when I went out to check on the kids, I found that the tribe of Indians was firing darts at each other with little regard for what might happen. Thank God their aims were less than accurate.
As soon as that crisis was put to bed, the party crowd moved their action outdoors. Before I could stop them, they were climbing our lemon trees. One of the 10-year-olds had found a saw I had and was calmly sitting on a branch and sawing away. When I realized he was cutting the branch he was sitting on, I raised my voice (just a little) and made him stop, climb down, and give the tool back to me.
What was to be a 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. party ended early, and that was the last birthday celebration our household had that included kids outside our immediate family.
Now that my grandchildren are at the party age, as are many of the children in Whispering Pines, the party issue arises again.
Some mothers feel that their 8-year-old, for example, should invite all the kids in his or her class to a birthday bash. Of course, doing so, especially if the class has 27 kids, means that Mom will lose her sanity before the day ends, but apparently she doesn‘t focus on that fact.
Others follow an unwritten rule that states that the number of kids invited should equal the number of birthdays being celebrated. An 8-year-old should invite eight friends, a 9-year-old nine, etc.
Of course, this might not mean as much fun for the celebrant, but it will mean that Mom and Dad have a chance of surviving till their own next birthdays arrive.
Naturally, the number rule does not apply to adults. I know of several of my friends in Whispering Pines who might have to invite 70 or more guests to a party, and that might be an unwieldy crowd. (Of course, they wouldn’t be rowdy — sleepy, maybe, if the event was held in the evening, but surely not a nuisance.)
As for what kind of party village moms and dads should hold for their 21st century kiddos, the answer is simple and the solution is one my generation never had available.
Take the kids out to a neutral site like a pizza parlor, a bowling alley or a restaurant that caters to the younger set.
Every 10-year-old loves pizza. They all can throw the bowling balls. And they all have fun in those fast-food pleasure palaces that feature children’s play areas.
And, best of all, they are out of your house.
No spilling of Coke and Pepsi on the living room rug. No cake crumbs all over the kitchen floor. And no bruises and scrapes to explain to other moms when they come back to pick up their children. (You know they don’t stay with their kids while the party is going on at your house — they aren’t dummies.)
If you take the kids out to a public place, the issue of how many to invite becomes irrelevant. You can invite all 27 classmates and not be afraid. They can romp in a place that can handle rompers, and you as the host and hostess, can sit back and smile.
Several of my friends in Whispering Pines say that’s what they do for their children. As for those who have grandchildren, that’s the suggestion they pass on to their offspring.
And you thought you couldn’t teach an old dog new tricks!
Don Winslow writes about life in Whispering Pines. He may be contacted by e-mail at donwin@charter.net.
